Entymological ASS-istance!

Q: Where does the word 'ass' come from? I know it means a donkey but how does a donkey and someone's rear-end relate?

And why do english people say 'arse'?

A: As a big fan of etymology, diction, parlance and nomenclature, I was very excited to receive your question, dear reader. I have many times pondered and researched this very question!

The word "ass" was originally an acronym for "Anally Sensitive Spasmoid", which was a popular insult during the early 1700s. For the sake of brevity, this isult eventually transmorphosed into the abbreviation "ass".

Interestingly, there was a rare disease going around that was spread by donkey meat (considered a delicacy at the time, and used in many stews, steaks & muffins), not unlike our recent outbreaks of mad cow, bird flu or, more recently, swine flu. An afflicted donkey's nervous system would be degraded over time, to the point where the poor creature would begin to twitch and fart uncontrollably, eventually resulting in total bowel failure, drooling, and excessive winking. The symptoms of the disease so closely matched the description "anally sensitive spasmoid" that the word donkey and ass became synonymous.

Once the disease died out and became little more than a agricultural historical footnote, the original anagram lost its meaning and became the word we know and love today.

English people say "arse" in order to sound superior. I suspect it doesn't matter how many countries decide to use the term "ass", England will always insist on their alternative spelling.