Panthera palate preferences

Q: My friend wants to make a bet with me that Tiger's like pepper but utterly despise cinnamon. I know it's going to turn out to be untrue and want to take his stupid bet, but how can we prove it? And do you think it's true?

A: To my knowledge, and vague disappointment, there has not yet been a comprehensive scientific study on the palate preferences of the mighty big cats, incluiding the Tigris Panthera. Most research money these days goes to bleeding-heart animal-causes like giant pandas or baby seals.

I once nursed a litter of baby tigers in Africa, and found that they were quite happy to eat almost anything. Bread, milk, leftover steak, one even took a great big bite out of my love handle, much to everyone's amusement.

I'm not sure exactly what my love handle would taste like, but, if I had to guess, I'd say it would be more like cinnamon than pepper, which completely invalidates your friend's statement. If I were you, I'd take the bet, and bet big.

As for proving it, that's easy. Just put some cinnamon on your friend's hand and some pepper on yours and then together thrust your hands into the tigers enclosure at your local zoo.

Whichever hand the tigers bite off first will be the hand of the loser.

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Girl gamers?

Q: Why is it that boys like video games and girls don't? Is this a gross over-generalisation, or is that they just suck at them?

A: Girls do suck at video games. It's not just circumstantial, it's Darwinian.

I once saw a girl try to rake some leaves and, boy, it was hilarious. She didn't even move them all in the same direction, she just kept swirling them around the yard. She probably would have kept going forever if I hadn't stopped her. Granted, that was Kim Kardashian on a dare.

In caveman times, men had to hunt, gather and invent fire... women didn't have to do much at all, except learn how to sew and grow breasts that could be used to find the Earth's core. Evolution gave us the tools we needed for the tasks at hand.

Darwin himself threw like a girl and got picked last in every softball game he tried out for. Evolution, it seems, does have a sense of irony.

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