World-Wide-Weariness!

Q: I've TRIED going online plenty of times; signed up for Facebook, Friendster, IMDB, CNN and even Twitter. But no matter how hard I try to entertain myself, I'm completely underwhelmed by it all!

I watch my friends and co-workers jumping online, clicking away, cackling uproariously and high-fiving each other as they surf -- but I just don't get it!

What's so good about the internet?

A: Well, dear reader, you have found one good thing about the internet, haven't you?

AskHarv is a miraculous resource for informative, and life-changing information, and it wouldn't be possible without this interconnected mess of wires we call the internet.

I used to laugh with my friends that if only I could somehow impart my knowledge onto a small handful of the general populace of the planet, it would probably solve all human issues in under a day.

Sure, I've only been able to impart a small fraction to the power of some astronomical number -- a number no calculator or computer would recognize as larger than zero -- of my knowledge via this medium, but even that has had positive intangible benefits to the world, and the universe. Perhaps even dimensions of space and time we have yet to recognize consciously, too.

Other than that. Meh. I could take it or leave it, too.

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Religious Work-Experience

Q: Hey Harv, now that religion is dead, what do you think would be a good job for Jesus?

A: Well, I guess the son of God would have many useful applications once retired from the position of savior of humanity. Here are a few ideas:

1. Doctor. Admittedly, this is a little off-the-shelf, but you can't deny that Jesus' ability to heal any disease or ailment would come in very handy in the medical profession. However, job satisfaction would be an issue, as healing isn't particularly challenging for Jesus, and of course getting an appointment would be a nightmare. He would drive pretty much all other doctors out of business, too, which may lead to another unfortunate and bloody crucifixion.
2. Fashion designer. Jesus' attire wasn't especially fashionable in the 0's, 10's and 20's, but his flowing robes and sandals MUST be due to make a come-back by now! I can imagine Paris Hilton being very interested in getting the secret to Jesus' patented "glowing head" look, too.
3. Writer. He has already provided the storyline for one bestseller. If anyone can challenge John Grisham, Stephen King and Dan Brown, it would be the Christ himself. He has access to one of the more intriguing characters in literary history ( I would imagine he'd have a tendency for asides, rambling descriptions and possibly a little narcissism, but it would be nothing a good editor couldn't fix. Perhaps blogging would be more his style.
4. Pool Attendant/lifeguard. Walking on water, anyone?

Whatever he would choose, I'd make a point to be a loyal customer.

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Blog meaning

Q: What does BLOG stand for ?

A: There are actually several definitions floating around the web.

All of these are wrong.

BLOG stands for Binary Literation of Otiose Gas, which is essentially a digital version of the expression "he's just blowing hot gas". This is because in the early days of blogging, the blogs were useless personal sites with little or no redeeming value to the reader.

The current wave of blogs, like this one, are useful, informative and content-rich. Maybe time for a name-change?

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