Dream on!

Q: Why do I keep having dreams about a talking lizard with a big head who seems terrifying at first but when he bites me he has no teeth and then a miniature aligator comes and stomps on him and in the end I feel sorry for him?

A: You're masturbating too much. Cut it out, kid.

Just kidding, this is actually a classic insecurity dream for people with small genitals. My advice? Get thyself to Thailand, I hear it's cheaper there.

Oh and steer clear of drugs if you're not already on them.