Racism concerns

Q: A litte while ago I had a dream where two babies, one whie and one black, were stuck in a burning bus. I only had time to save one so I picked the white one.

Ever since then I've been trying to make up for my obvious racism by 'high-fiving' every black baby I see on the street. Is this wrong? Am I a racist?

A: I'm sorry to say that you are quite clearly a racist.

The good news is that admitting the problem is the first step. You should now seek out a therapist who speciallises in racism to perform what they call a "racism exorcism", or "racexorcism" for short.

This is a radical new technique that involves strapping you into a bed and monitoring your brain waves. The therapist will apply mild torture techniques - such as chinese burns, bamboo wedges or whipping - when he/she detects that you're having a racist thought until they are eradicated altogether.

Sounds extreme? Hey, you're the big racist.