First question

Q: Why are you such a dick?

A: Well viewer, I half suspect your question is a little tongue in cheek. But I promised to answer everything.

I'm a dick, because I have massive daddy issues and take it out on others. For instance, when I woke up on my 19th birthday, hoping my Dad would have got me that Jethopper remote controlled car he promised me, instead I got daddy rape. Again.

So thanks for bringing up daddy rape as the first question.

NEXT!