Egg-straordinary relationship!

Q: My girlfriend came home smelling like eggs last night - I'm in two minds whether to confront her about it. What do you suggest?

A: This is a concern, and one that you would be foolish to overlook.

If your girlfriend is, indeed, having a relationship with an egg, that implies that she has come to find eggs more sexually attractive than you. This would be considered a low point in any relationship by even the top therapists.

I suggest you take it one step at a time. Subtly tempt her away from dairy by rubbing fresh steak on her face while she sleeps. She'll wake up craving red meat and will not understand why.

From there, it is an easy step to rub your own meat on her face while she sleeps until she craves it again like she did when you first got together.

PS: if the steak doesn't take immediately, try starting with fresh fish.