Cloning around!

Q: I recently downloaded an article about cloning, and, during some basic experiments to verify the information, managed to clone my brother from a pubic hair I found under the toilet seat.

I know I can't keep him, Mum would FREAK! But what do I do? Is it ok to kill him, or is that technically murder?

Plus, wouldn't a clone made from a pubic hair naturally turn out a little twitchy?

A: Well it sounds like someone is not going to flunk high school science class!

But before we spend too much time patting you on the back, kiddo, lets acknowledge that scientists generally don't admit to the public is how easy cloning really is. In truth, it's completely possible to create a clone from a flake of skin, a box of corn flakes and a steam iron. The powers-that-be create the illusion of complexity to discourage the average Joe from attempting to clone, because of the obvious moral issues that arise.

One such issue you seem to have run into. What happens when you get bored with the clone and want to incinerate it? Is it ok to burn the clone on a pyre, or see how many times you can twist it's head around before it comes right off?

I would imagine your conundrum is magnified by the fact that the clone looks exactly like your brother (with slightly curlier hair, of course) and is likely begging for its life, crying, whimpering and clutching at your ankles.

But fear not, there is nothing wrong with disposing of your clone in any way you choose. You created it, so you can destroy it; it's that simple. In fact, clones typically turn out to be quite evil, or at least slightly creepy (think bad twins in an 80's horror movie) and exterminating them is a service to humankind.

And yes, a clone made from a pubic hair would most likely turn out to be a little twitchy, just as a clone created from penis tissue would turn out to be horny or a clone made from ass skin would have serious B.O. problems. However, these anomalies are easily controlled or regulated in most cases.

Just never create a clone from eyeball fluid, or you might end up with a massive cycloptic orang-utan named Blinky Bill who will not, not matter how many times you ask, leave your Playstation alone.