Penile Denial

Q: Recently I discovered a pimple on my penis. I decided to get a second opinion and opted for a friend to inspect my meat mallett and give me his expert advice. His diagnosis was that it was just a pimple and immediately declared my trouser snake "as clean as a whistle".

If its a pimple, how would it appear in that region? Could it be anything else?

A: I certainly don't want to worry you unneccesarily, dear reader. But yes, it could well be something much worse than a harmless pimple.

Let's investigate the odds that you really could have a pimple on your penis. I've never had one myself and never heard anyone complain about one. But that's hardly science, is it?

To get a better idea, I rang a sweaty, obese, lard-eating, vegetable-adverse and uncircumcised friend of mine named "Beefy". This guy has had pimples on every visible surface of his body, and, I aways assumed, even the (mercifully) non-visible spots. He verified that he has had pimples almost everywhere conceivable, including his nipple, under his fingernails and even his eyeball. Apparently the latter was painful.

He has, however, never had a pimple on his penis.

So despite the comforting, albeit slightly homo-erotic, assertion of your presumably non-medically-trained friend, you should probably get yourself to a speciallist medical professional.

Because it's very likely you have herpes.