Wrestling with lyrical logic

Q: Just listening to the new Bruce Springsteen album and he mentions "Have you ever seen a one legged dog?" Seems odd...I certainly haven't !!!

A: Yes, dear reader, I have. His name is "Pogo" and he had an unfortunate accident which involved a juicy t-bone steak, a malicious neighbourhood bully, and a lawmower. But he manages to carry on with his one mangled testicle poking out from his backside like a very bad anal haemorroid.

The only remaining leg is a back one, so he has to slide himself forward along the ground in a sort of spastic kicking motion. His lower jaw is worn down quite badly now from contact with the rough ground, so he can't help but lick the dirt as he moves, and sometime he'll get his front canines hooked on a rock and will take hours to shake himself free. Many times, I've caught him struggling to swallow a piece of broken glass or to flop his useless body over a large cliff, but I think he is essentially positive and content with his pointless, deformed existence.

But, now that you mention it, I do have issue with the remaining lyrics of Bruce Springsteen's "The Wrestler". He claims that if I've ever seen a one legged dog then I've seen him. Well the fact is that I did see a one legged dog when I was quite young and had no idea who "The Boss" was -- and it gave me no insight whatsoever into the pop star's appearance.

And before you catch me out, no, it didn't give me any insight into what Mickey Rourke or Marisa Tomei looked like, either.