Phua Soon Hacker?

Q: My son just called me in an insane panic and told me about this Facebook Hacker called Phua Soon Hock! I'm utterly terrified, because I found the AUTOMATION-LOG user on my list, just like my son said I would!

Is my Facebook account compromised, and does this Phua Soon Hock guy now have access to my personal details, credit card information and my new washer dryer with the fuzzy logic feature?

Concerned!


A: There is nothing to worry about, dear reader. I have heard about this so-called Facebook Hacker and I assure you it's a complete hoax.

That's because I know the REAL Phua Soon Hock and he's a lovely guy with a PHD in biblical journalism and jet engine propulsion. He's a genius before his time, but he's no computer hacker.

Last I checked Phua Soon Hock was still using his mouse upside down, which of course results in the cursor going in exactly the wrong direction. He referred to the keyboard as a typewriter and the monitor as a television. And one time, he told me he preferred a wired mouse, because it was chained to the PC, so couldn't get into his fridge at night and eat all his cheese!

I haven't seen him for a couple of years, but if he's hacking Facebook, I'll run naked through silicone valley!