More Interesting Than Watching Paint Dry!

Q: Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

A: Yes! And what does one do with a painting of four billion stars?

Great question, dear reader! This syndrome is a well-known aspect of human thought processes (or lack thereof) called the "Ignorami Factor", first described by the brilliant philanthropic egomaniac Ignatious Ignorami.

Basically, what the principle infers is that humans are more susceptible to accepting unverifiable facts when they are larger and more elaborate.

In even simpler terms: the bigger the lie, the more likely people are to believe it.

This can be seen in many aspects of modern life, and many "facts" presented to us by popular culture and the media. Some examples:

• Money makes the world go round. But, yeah, isn't it also the root of all evil. So what then? Is the world evil?
  (note: I actually think this particular contradiction was due to a simple typo. I'll let you decide if it should have been "monkey makes the world go round" or "monkey is the root of all evil.")
• Michael Jackson is dead. Yah, er... ok, suuure he is. But first he made a DVD and a couple of new songs! In no way has that been convenient for him and his estate!
• The tragedy of 9-11 was perpetuated by terrorists. Oh really!? If you could see how much evidence I had to indicate it was an act of war by an alien species, your heart would probably stop.
• Veronica is not a whore. I assure you all, dear readers, she most certainly is.

I could go on. To be honest, following a childhood incident with a hot iron, some black duck feathers and an oversized novelty hammer, I have been fighting this syndrome myself for many years, but my nature is to verify every fact for myself.

So, yes, I have counted the stars and it's nowhere near four billion!

I also verified Michael Jackson's "death", and... well... I can't reveal too much of that because it might involve illegally exhuming his corpse, which I definitely DIDN'T do.

And I have those happy snaps to prove the Veronica thing. Who wants to see them?