You can lead a horse to tequila...

Q: I live in the Philippines and recently my boyfriend took me on a tour of the lovely Spanish village of Intramuros, near Manila.

Anyway, we were transported around on a horse-drawn carriage and I noticed all the horses wear weird eye-patches, like double-blind pirates.

The horses can't ALL be blind, can they, so what is the explanation?

A: In most other countries, draft horses wear what are known as blinkers, or blinders, as a way to avoid getting distracted and rearing up, potentially injuring others and embarrassing themselves.
 
However, in the Philippines, the draft horses are all female, and (rather inhumanely) kept high on cheap anti-anxiety medications, so the reason for the blinkers is, if you'll excuse the pun, harder to see.
 
It turns out that the above-mentioned medication is taken orally, so is watered down with strong tequila - as it is cheaper, and more easily obtained, than water in the Philippines.
 

This exposes the draft horses to a scientifically well-understood phenomenon that occurs when tequila enters the blood of a Filipina.

 

Before the blinkers were administered in 1932, Intramuros draft horses would often be found dancing semi-naked on tables, performing "body shots" and other sexually-themed drinking games on each other, and, later in the day, passed out in a corner in a pool of vomit.
 
These promiscuous horses weren't particularly tourist-friendly, so the blinkers were added to avoid the horses getting attracted to each other and lezzing off.
 
Interestingly, there was a small group of core customers who actually petitioned to have the behaviour brought back in 1967. They were unsuccessful.